I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
