after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
