gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
