Can Purell be used as lube?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
