new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
