Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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