the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
