you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
