Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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