i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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