bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
