hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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