dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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