new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
