There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
