The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
