I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
