I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
