Michael Bay diarrhea
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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