I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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