I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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