Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You took a bar mat shot.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
