im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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