Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
