ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
