the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
