I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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