Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
