we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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