You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
jump out the window naked night went bad
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