every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
