Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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