Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All the doctor said was why
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
