so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
