sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
