somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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