Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She told me I should be a condom model.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
