I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hippo gnu deer
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize