weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
