cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
