Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
