It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
