I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
