You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
