every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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