I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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