You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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