What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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