ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
