glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
