you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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