I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
