dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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