Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
