I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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