youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
