I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
