My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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