So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
